As director and producer Karan Johar celebrates his birthday today, it is the perfect time to look back at one of the most candid phases of his public life, when the filmmaker chose to speak openly about identity, rumours, loneliness and the emotional cost of being judged constantly.
Known for creating some of Bollywood’s most memorable love stories, from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai to Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, Karan has always been associated with glamour, friendships and larger-than-life cinema.
But behind the glossy world of films, he has also dealt with years of speculation around his personal life. In his biography An Unsuitable Boy, co-authored by Poonam Saxena, Karan addressed several deeply personal subjects, including his sexuality, his first sexual experience and the rumours linking him with Shah Rukh Khan.
One of the most-discussed excerpts from the book was Karan’s statement about his sexual orientation.
Without making a direct declaration, he wrote, “Everybody knows what my sexual orientation is. I don’t need to scream it out. If I need to spell it out, I won’t only because I live in a country where I could possibly be jailed for saying this. Which is why I Karan Johar will not say the three words that possibly everybody knows about me.”
Karan also addressed long-running rumours about his close friendship with Shah Rukh Khan. The filmmaker has often described Shah Rukh as family, someone he looks up to as “a father figure, an older brother.” However, he said the speculation around their bond was painful.
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He wrote, “For heaven’s sake, for years there were rumours about Shah Rukh and me. And I was traumatized by it. I was on a show on a Hindi channel, and I was asked about Shah Rukh. ‘Yeh anokha rishta hai aap ka,’ the interviewer said. He worded it in such a way that I got really angry. I said, ‘If I asked you if you are sleeping with your brother, how will you feel?’”
Karan further spoke about the casual cruelty of such assumptions, saying, “This whole homophobia is so disheartening and upsetting.” He also observed that if a man does not have an extramarital affair, people often start making assumptions about his sexuality.
In the same book, Karan also opened up about losing his virginity at the age of 26 in New York. He admitted that he had been sexually inexperienced for a long time and was not proud or ashamed of saying it honestly. “Why would I say this on record if it were not? It’s not something I am proud of. It was in New York. Up till that point, I was sexually completely inexperienced,” he wrote.
He also revealed that while growing up, he struggled with body image and confidence. “While growing up, I was combating a hundred issues in my head. The thought of sex made me awkward; it almost rattled me. I thought, am I asexual? Why am I not feeling this? Why am I not doing anything? There was a lot of turbulence in my head,” he shared.
Karan said things began to change after Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, when he started working on his appearance and slowly gained confidence. “Finally, I had developed a little spring in my step, a little confidence,” he wrote.
Another deeply personal part of his reflection was about his mother, Hiroo Johar. Karan said he never wanted her to feel embarrassed by jokes made about him. “Mum, laugh. Do not squirm and do not be embarrassed for me because I’m not embarrassed for myself,” he recalled telling her.
Looking back, Karan Johar’s revelations in An Unsuitable Boy remain among his most honest public confessions. On screen, he may be known for romance, family drama and glossy emotions, but these words showed the man behind the filmmaker: sensitive, wounded, witty and unapologetically himself.
